DevaTree Blog

Does Anyone Even Care What I Do?

Posted By Carolyn on May 09, 2018

Today I’m sending my love to all you moms out there who support, nurture, give and grow this world. 

Even if you aren’t raising kids, many of you do these very same things for other people in your lives. 

It’s fun to be recognized on Mother’s Day for this important job. I know my role is crucial to my children, but still, I have many days when I forget I’m doing something important.  

Days can go by where I don’t feel seen or acknowledged for my work as a mom, and that’s okay. The laundry, cooking, tidying, organizing, homework—it’s what I signed up for.

But on my ‘feeling invisible’ days, sometimes I ask myself, “If I didn’t do all this, would anyone notice? Does anyone even care?”

Whenever I start feeling like a martyr, I have to reset and find my way back to meaning, or I’ll fall apart fast.  

Sometimes I find meaning on my yoga mat, in a conversation with a friend, a moment by myself, or from time in nature. I have to consciously create these moments for myself, because our culture rewards ‘doing stuff’ over meaning and sacredness. 

Spending time in other cultures, I’ve learned it doesn’t have to be this way.

Travelling in Bali and India, I witnessed the locals performing daily offerings. Each day, the staff at the small Balinese hotel would place a beautiful arrangement of flowers, incense and leaves at the foot of a Goddess statue, or in front of a tree. A day wouldn’t go by without offerings being given in sacred ritual.

And in India, leaves holding a tea light and adorned with flowers, were prepared on the holy river’s edge and sent in an offering down the Ganges. 

Often, these were very small tokens. They were beautiful and meaningful. And many had nothing to do with a special occasion.

These small but beautiful offerings were a part of every day life. 

This made me start to think about my daily mothering activities in a different light.

I realized that as small as they appear, there is such meaning in the daily gifts I give my children. 

This week I removed a spider from the house, found a missing sock, and broke up an argument between sisters. I held a hand. I rummaged through the house to find staples, braided hair, and untangled a necklace. I read books, peeled carrots, and gave a speech on walking home alone. 

Small gestures of support are tremendous acts of love.

They occur every day. They are as beautiful as the flowers floating down the river, equally powerful and sacred. 

They often go unnoticed, and sometimes feel like duty or obligation.

But when I stop and remember the beauty of the small gifts I give my family, my whole body relaxes. I return to the sacredness of it all.

Today I’m thinking of you and the countless offerings of love you share in the world.

We'd like to celebrate one of your small acts of love—anything from wiping a runny nose to preventing a teenage meltdown. Please share in the comments below. 

Your love makes a difference.


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16 Comment(s)

Becky Ament on May 09, 2018
I loved this, thank you so much for sharing. I often feel that way on my busiest days, what would happen if I just stopped doing all those little things I do and feel no one notices. But I know that it is actually all those little things that I love doing. I love looking after my family, it is what is most important and sacred to me.
Carolyn Jyoti on May 09, 2018
Becky - Thank you. I love the commitment and LOVE that you put into caring for your family. The sacred work you do each day makes a difference.
Bija on May 09, 2018
Wow, thank-you for your beautiful reminders to create awareness around the seemingly "small" stuff we do as part of our day.:) I have helped navigate my kids' dealing with their father changing plans constantly this week, helped Zen with his disappointment around not going to camp over the weekend due to his broken wrist/cast, given and received oodles of yummy hugs and kisses, organized hang out dates for Zen and his friends, applied organic lotion to a sunburn, massaged Skye's back and shoulders plus so much more:). I have loved every minute of it and wouldn't change a thing!! A tool that really helps me is to be honest with the kids when I am feeling overwhelmed or under appreciated so we can clear it:) Mums rock and we are all in this together!!:)????????????
Carolyn Jyoti on May 09, 2018
Bija - Oh my goodness such a beautiful list of all the small acts of love for your family. You manage it all so gracefully and with such love and awareness. Sharing our feelings with our kids is such an amazing way to help them realize that they can do it too. Thank you for this and for being a light to so many of us. xo
Haley Nauta on May 09, 2018
You are such a talented writer! I always look forward to reading your newsletters where I feel like I have won a little lottery every month!
Carolyn Jyoti on May 09, 2018
Hi Haley, Thanks for being a part of our community!
Amanda Eriksen on May 09, 2018
Thank you Carolyn. I need these words and I will keep them to re-read on my "invisible" days.
Carolyn Jyoti on May 09, 2018
Hi Amanda, you are doing amazing things for your family! Your acts of love make a difference. Much love xo
Lindsay on May 09, 2018
Thank you for sharing! For me, I have been enjoying all the little things, and Big things. Some days feel long, but then time seems to speed up. I feel like I don’t want to miss anything, wiping a runny nose, changing a diaper, cleaning food that has been thrown on the floor, because those sweet little snuggles, pulls on my pant leg, gummy smiles and sweet slobbery kisses fill my cup with so much love, and joy that I know it’s worth all the day to day stuff! Love you and loved this blog!
Carolyn Jyoti on May 10, 2018
Lindsay, It's incredible how such a little being can fill our hearts with so much. You are so wise and loving. It sure sounds like you won't miss a thing! Thank you for reminding us all to stay present to it all. You are LOVE! xoxo
Brenda on May 10, 2018
What beautiful reminders for mothers and beyond. Thank you, Carolyn!
Carolyn Jyoti on May 10, 2018
Brenda, Thank you for your everyday acts of love <3 xo
Kaitlin on May 10, 2018
This made me well up. So beautiful! Thank you
Carolyn Jyoti on May 10, 2018
Kaitlin, thank you for all the love you give in the world and in your family. Love you! xo
sandy on May 10, 2018
As my boys become adults I find my role changing and at the same time staying the same. I still clean up, make dinners, take them to appointments, etc. But most of their day to day stuff they do themselves. The things that the boys will allow me to do for them, I try to appreciate as much as I can. Back rubs when they are sore, listening to troubles, or having adult discussions. The time goes by so fast and letting go is never easy. But they also have girlfriends now, who allow me to mother them a little too. And watching them soar is the best feeling in the world. Thanks for this, Jyoiti, I needed it today. Namaste.
Carolyn Jyoti on May 10, 2018
Hi Sandy, Hearing from you is so reassuring that while the small acts of love change as your children get older they are still so many opportunities to appreciate and be present to their lives in a new and special way! Thank you for sharing your heart with us all. xo

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